they carry His book

the wanderers have descended on the city
nickel-eyed with knobbly hands extended
to touch the wet stone and black iron
that winds along the streets
with faces concave, they preach
they hover, laden with a delusional certainty
that makes my bones cold
the wanderers become still
fanned out, beyond the yellow line
who are you to say, oh devious shepherd of the blind?
for to me, the greatest evil minds are tame
beside your incestuous and unwavering claim of wisdom

not asleep

i got out of bed to write down a thought
but in those moments it faded
too quickly to call back.
it had all settled so perfectly in the dark
words pressed tightly against one another
me, saying, yes that's it exactly.
but now all i can recall
is reaching high on the tips of my toes
to fill in a piece of an enormously grand mural
curving overhead like a massive sky
and making a sparkling promise
to pull the paint from the ceiling in fistfuls
and throw the bits of plaster overhead like confetti

its my beloved, my precious paramour
when the wind blows so riotously
as to force a gasp
and rain dampens down
every one of my embellishments
when slick strands of hair
stick to my skin like capricious ink
and my most fervent wish
is to abandon sight and forfeit thought
and to feast on the most uncluttered joy
of a dismantling torrent of rain
and a breathtaking eruption of wind

ladenlush

heartbeat blurring to a hot hum
buzzing between ribs
my palm hears all of the crackling of your heart
the sweetest beauty of the day
is curled up beside my eardrums
and exhales, filling me to my fingertips
inflating every bit of my lungs
until even the pores of my bones are full
and saturated with your love
and i feel ladenlush and lazy with the weight of it.

preservation and promises

I think promises to one's self shouldn't be reserved for the new year. Every day is an opportunity to start again, to resolve to change, or bolster behavior that we already strive for. So as I approach a time in my life that promises to be taxing and challenging and threatening to all the things I'm trying to save in myself but thrillingly exciting all at once - I'm making some promises to myself.

To start each day fresh
with a clear and focused gaze
with determination, diligence, and an open mind
To hold humility and compassion above all else
and to pursue a sense of self, broader purpose, and excellence.

To strive to prove the hopeless wrong - to stay buoyant, peaceful, and happy.

To take time each day to nurture self
To reflect a strong mind in a strong body
To love completely: be open to receiving joy, generous in adoration, and nurturing to the hope that two imperfect people can help each other grow and see the world in a more beautiful way because they stand beside each other.

heaps

i was pressing along with my eyes on my toes
and i missed the great shudder that shook down below
i steadied and readied and kept down low
and you trembled and tumbled and overflowed

now i've waited and wept with my ear to the earth
while you pondered and probed and summed up my worth
i'll bind up my hope in great bursting sacks
and add it to heaps we all heave on our backs

taste so bitter

to know that there is a taste so bitter
that I cannot steal it off your lips
is to feel the most binding kind of incapacity

to know there is a time at night
when no touch can move you from torment
is to feel the dullest sort of inertia

to see that there is no volume of want
that can be bartered for your happiness
is to know the most complete way of poverty