disoriented

you know that feeling even before you open your eyes in the morning and you're somewhere you didn't expect. unfamiliar bedside table, light switch in a new place, different colors on the walls

its takes a dizzying moment to ground yourself, remember where you are and what you're doing and who you are.

it happens to me all the time, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the night.
when i look up from a book or a conversation
when i'm standing on the T and realize i could be on any public transportation anywhere in the world
when all i hear is a foreign language and i float in it like thick water
the waves are high and i can never touch

lungs full and throbbing and eager to exhale
heels pressing into sand
arms wide
eyes closed

somebody's blue on the walls every morning
and sweet hands at the light